blog post?

Dear Sarah,

So, I have been thinking a lot about this blog, and honestly, I’ve been thinking there is no way this will work. I cannot imagine finding a rhythm to life that includes writing on a regular basis. Besides, do we really have anything to say? I know that most days we are the most entertaining piece of my life, but will that really translate to the outside world? I don’t want to be a naysayer, but I do have just one more concern…how will we ever stop talking on the phone long enough to have something to write about?

Now that I have all those doubts aside, I figured I would just jump right in and get started. Never mind that we don’t have a blog, or even the faintest idea how to blog…I am just going to start writing you notes and we’ll see where this goes.

My mom is going for a CT scan today. There is a real chance that her breast cancer is back, and that it is in her lungs. I am anxious and sad, and I am trying not to get ahead of myself and start freaking out. Needless to say, this would be a lot easier if I could knit. Since the powers that be seem to frown upon that here at work, I am going to have to find another way. But don’t be fooled, I really only want to be knitting.

I first learned how to knit 5 years ago when my mom was going through chemo. I have known how to crochet since I was a kid, but I never learned how to knit. I was getting heavy into delicious yarn, and it was becoming a problem for my wallet. When I learned that knitting uses 30% less yarn than crochet I did the math and instantly needed wanted to learn. My mom went through a knitting phase (12 lopi sweaters in one year!), but she absolutely refused to teach me how to knit. She gave me every excuse in the book. “I don’t have time. I don’t know how to teach. Why do you want to knit, anyway? You already know how to crochet!” When she was going through chemo, I saw my opportunity!

I went with her to as many sessions as possible. We would settle into the room and get mom all set to go. As soon as she was securely stuck in her chemo chair, I would take out my “Teach Yourself to Knit Kit” and begin. She remained true to her resolve, refusing every step of the way to teach me anything. But as soon as I made a mistake, there she would be. “Oh, for goodness sake! Come over here. That isn’t how you do it.” Before she was done with her course of treatment, I was well on my way to being a knitter – with a special knack for fixing my mistakes. It is amazing to think that was already so long ago, but at the same time I can’t believe I’ve only been a knitter for 5 years. Knitting is so integral to who I am, I can’t imagine myself without it. Especially now, as we face the thought of a recurrence, I can’t imagine life without knitting.

Here’s hoping that knitting will once again be the medicine necessary to help mom and I deflect the tough feelings and trudge our way through.

Love,

Lj

PS. I hope you see how I have signed my name. The last problem I have with the idea of this blog is my name. Honestly, it makes me cringe when people call me Lisa. The only reason I let you get away with it is because I love you to death. You could call me Shit Head and I would turn a blind eye. If we are going to have a blog though, I think you’ll have to call me Lj.